The matter of balancing your marriage and career continues to be one mulled over by married couples world over; on one hand, you love your spouse and would love nothing more than to dedicate all the time required towards making your marriage work and on the other, a thriving career, which you love, or not.
While you are not alone in the marriage and career-balancing act, the situation is not same exactly for all married couples. There are always differences owing to the uniqueness of each couple.
Keeping your marriage and succeeding at it is really important, so is maintaining and succeeding at your job. According to Hilary Thompson on verilymag.com, learning to balance both does not have to be exhausting.
Balancing both, however, might require that you think about and approach the balancing act differently.
Hilary suggests thinking of your marriage and your career as having a symbiotic relationship. When done right, thriving at one helps you get better at the other since both contribute to your well-being and overall energy level.
Balancing your marriage and career is a process; it is not a static achievement.
The real task of balance takes place on a weekly and daily basis, even from hour to hour.
We consulted with relationship and career experts to learn their top tips for how to achieve balance successfully in your marriage and career.
They say to practice the following:
- Be Intentional About Planning For Your Marriage and Career Balance
According to Patricia S. and Gregory A. Kuhlman on stayhitched.com,
Without a clear plan and commitment to maintaining balance, time and energy for your family and for your spouse erodes and evaporates.
“Preparation, intentionality and joint decision-making are the key to creating and maintaining the right marriage-career balance for you and your spouse”.
You and your spouse must plan for your balance aggressively and commit to following the plan you have created to prevent distractions.
An important part of being intentional is recognizing that the balancing act is a process; it requires that you work on it constantly.
Big decisions such as: selecting careers and jobs, both spouses working full-time or part-time, working from home or outside the home, financial decisions, timing children, allocating roles and responsibilities, family time, alone time with your spouse, etc. that will provide the opportunity for balance, should be made together as a couple.
If your plan for balance is not working or satisfying, you can and should adjust it by reconsidering the items in your plan and making changes as required.
Your plan need not be a permanent plan; it should be flexible not rigid. This goes without saying, your plan for balance should ideally be in writing.
The ability to constantly adjust your balance plan and maintain flexibility to keep your marriage-career balance goals and priorities on target is a good sign that you are on your way to achieving a marriage-career balance that is both right for you and satisfying.
2. When You Are At Work… Work
This seems an obvious point…OBVIOUSLY.
When you have a spouse and a child or two, or more, to go home to, together with an intentionally laid out balance plan to which you are committed, getting your work done and being productive while you are at it becomes really important.
According to Hilary, you might actually achieve your bigger career goals, become better at time management, and be more mentally acute.
To maximise your efficiency during your work day and free up time to bond with your family, you can practice doing the following:
- Set daily work goals to enable you finish daily tasks in time to get home to your family
- Where you are unable to complete or attempt a task, add it tomorrow’s to do list
- Be proactive about eliminating distraction while you are at work.
- Disable notifications on your phone or work computer if your work requires little or no interaction on social media;
- If the conversation or project has nothing to do with your job, or the work at hand, save it till you have ended your work day
- When you are with your spouse or family, be Present
Family time with your family is family time. And when you are with your spouse for couple’s alone time, then that’s couple’s time. Don’t allow work to intrude, and when you do have a really tight deadline, taking only a few minutes just to connect with your spouse will do amazing things for your marriage.
To stay focused on your family while you are with them, you can practice doing the following:
- When you leave work, leave work. Let your colleagues at work know that your time at home is for your family.
- Even when you work from home, actively dedicate time to actually be at your work so that time with your family does not suffer
- Schedule time to be with your spouse
- Turn your phone notifications off
- Where possible keep the T.V. off
Achieving the right marriage-career balance requires that both you and your be open to honest communication with each other about your values, goals, priorities and preferences, and working together as a couple to create a sustainable plan.
Finally, for your marriage and career balance plan to be successful, you and your spouse may have to compromise on some of your personal goals. This will be hard to do, but it will be necessary to maintain the marriage and career balance that you seek.