Forget everything you may have heard or believed about the idea of “love at first sight,” finding a relationship and making it work is never easy.   

According to C. Raymond Knee of the University of Houston, success in romantic relationships often depends on the implicit theories we may have about romantic love. Implicit theories deal with the underlying beliefs and biases that can influence how we interact with the world.

Below are few points to consider when in search of Mr or Mrs right…

1. Would you marry someone like you? i.e, be a Mr or Mrs right yourself. 

2. Dump the cramps. Singleness is not a curse but the orientation you give to yourself about being single determines how you act as one but when dealing with any member of the opposite sex, never appear needy or desperate. 

3. Be friends first. Don’t just jump in with your two legs into an intimate relationship, get to know him or her on a casual level first. 

4. Appearance is very important as it gives the world the impression of how you want to be perceived. No matter how hard your situation may be take care of yourself, be neat in and out and dress well; it doesn’t cost much to look good. If you want to find out more on that ask me how and I’ll explain to you of course with your tithe at hand, lol.

5. Have a good rapport and comport especially when with members of the opposite sex, but never be too uptight. Learn how to hold a comfortable conversation. A little tease, a little flirty words here and there but know when to do that and please don’t overdo it. 

Countless movies, television shows, and romance novels convey the idea that romantic love and a fulfilling sex life are easy to maintain when your romantic partner is “the one.” But the reality is very different. And the question is how do you really know “the one” when you see them?

Here are few signs that makes it easier for you to dictate a prospective  Mr or Mrs right when you encounter one.

 You can completely open up to them;

It takes a special type of person to get one (men mostly) to entirely let our guards down and reveal our inner-most secrets to someone. If you find yourself so comfortable that you can tell them things you wouldn’t even tell your closest friend – recognize how rare this is and hold onto them.

 You want to share everything with them;

The minute something happens in your life, good or bad, big or small, think about the first person you want to text or call with the news. He/she may or may not come before your family depending on your relationship with them, but take it as a good sign when they’re at the top of your list.

You are still two different people with individual lives;

While a great relationship is a team in which two equal partners take on the world together, it is also important that there is not dependence or reliance on one another. For long term success, we have to understand that we are not two people who complete each other, but two people who are already whole and accept each other completely.

Their happiness is your happiness;

According to Robert A. Heinlein “Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” 

 They willingly compromises with you.

Love is selfless. It requires us, at times, to put our partner’s happiness ahead of our own. But we don’t see it as sacrifice, because as mentioned a couple of points ago, their happiness is your happiness. The important thing to remember though, is that this goes both ways. If you are with a partner who willingly makes compromises for you (without complaining – as you do for them) they should never be taken for granted.

 You genuinely miss them when they’re not around;

Not just the casual exchange of “miss you” texts when one of you is out of town or has been gone for awhile, but that you can feel their absence for real. When you stare longingly upon their part of the couch or their empty side of the bed until he/she gets back, you will know their presence brings value to your life.

 You have similar views for the future;

Sure, there are always compromises to be made, but if you are really looking for something long term (potentially lifelong), it’s important that you are on the same page or at least in the same book – when it comes to what you want for yourself and your life. This usually comes along with similar values and ambitions.

 They make you feel comfortable with yourself;

We all have insecurities, we may just not talk about them as much. The right person for you will love you for you, and help you let go of small things you want to change like that spare tire that has grown a little more than you would have liked. They will make you feel attractive and sexy just like you do for them.

In conclusion, the right person for you usually comes along while you are busy living your life. A lot of people make the mistake of thinking that someone else will magically fix them or their life, that if only they found the right person everything would be okay.

That usually doesn’t work out too well. Focus on loving you on making yourself better each day. Then set an intention to have a life partner.