The Kiss Of Death: The Misdeed Of Pornography

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Pornography can be defined as the explicit literary or visual depiction of sexual subject; any display of material of an erotic nature.

Pornography has many different forms which are difficult to cover in a blanket form. For example, pornographic internet videos, pornographic internet magazines.

Porn changes the habits of the mind, the private self. Its use can easily become habitual, which in turn leads to desensitization, boredom, distorted views of reality, and an objectification of women. There are numerous clinical consequences to pornography use, including increased risk for significant physical and mental health problems and a greater likelihood of committing a sex-based crime.

Sexual Addiction  

Pornography and “cybersex” are highly addictive and can lead to sexually compulsive behaviors (that decrease a person’s capacity to perform other major tasks in life). Addictive pornography use leads to lower self-esteem and a weakened ability to carry out a meaningful social and work life. Pornography addicts are subject to the “out of control” feeling and the time consumption that their pornography use engendered. All of the sexual compulsives they have likely felt distressed and experienced impairment in an important aspect of their lives as a result of their addiction. Almost half of the sexual compulsives’ behavior had significant negative results in their social lives, and a quarter reported negative effects on their job.

Distorted Perception of Reality

Pornography presents sexual access as relentless, “a sporting event that amounts to innocent fun” with inconsequential effects on emotions, perceptions, and health. This is not the case, however. Pornography leads to distorted perceptions of social reality: an exaggerated perception of the level of sexual activity in the general population, an inflated estimate “of the incidence of premarital and extramarital sexual activity, as well as increased assessment of male and female promiscuity,” “an overestimation of almost all sexual activities performed by sexually active adults, and an overestimation of the general prevalence of perversions such as group sex, bestiality, and sadomasochistic activity. Thus, the beliefs being formed in the mind of the viewer of pornography are far removed from reality. A case could be made that repeated viewing of pornography induces a mental illness in matters sexual.

These distortions result in an acceptance of three beliefs:

(1) Sexual relationships are recreational in nature.

(2) Men are generally sexually driven, and

(3) Women are sex objects or commodities.

These are called “permission-giving beliefs” because they result in assumptions that one’s behavior is normal, acceptable, and commonplace, and thus not hurtful to anyone else. These beliefs are deepened and reinforced by masturbation while viewing pornography, a frequent practice among those who use pornography to deal with stress.

When male and female viewers do not believe that exposure to pornography has any effect upon their personal views or lives, they more readily internalize abnormal sexual attitudes and increase the likelihood that they will engage in perverse sexual behaviors.

All of these distortions amount to a serious misunderstanding about sexuality and relationships and are a dangerous distortion of the nature of social life. Those who perceive pornographic sexual scenes as depicting reality tend to be more accepting of sexual permissiveness than others. Prolonged exposure to pornography fosters the belief that sexual inactivity constitutes a health risk.

Impact on real-life relationships and Perception about women

Spending a lot of time using porn can be isolating as the user turns more and more to the porn and away from actual people. Since most people try to hide their usage, they become adept at “tucking away” their porn habit into a separate compartment of their mind, many times feeling that it is something that is not a part of their “real” life. They now have secrets from the people in their lives, making it impossible to be truly honest. When a person is constantly bombarded with images of explicit and anonymous sex aimed at gratifying the user without any consideration of the other person’s feelings, it’s not a far stretch to become overly self-involved and insensitive to others.

Women are portrayed as a collection of orifices, ready at any time for anything sexual the man may want, and with no human or sexual needs of her own. She is neither given nor worthy of basic human dignity and respect; rather, she is objectified and used for men’s gratification. She is never referred to as a woman, but an array of derogatory names such as slut, whore, bitch, and much worse. These are some ways that porn kills empathy and desensitizes the user to women’s humanity.

Changes in daily mood and self esteem

Many porn users find themselves becoming easily annoyed at things that didn’t used to irritate them and feeling depressed or angry. This can come from the conflicting feelings the person has about using porn—he knows that society in general, and likely the people in his life, look at porn users as deviants or perverts, and he spends an enormous amount of energy keeping it secret, fantasizing about it when he’s not using it, and simultaneously be ashamed of his need for and lack of control over it. Porn usage can very easily and very quickly spiral out of control and hijack a person’s self-image and self-esteem. The incongruity between his values and beliefs, and his actions can cause intense stress. He can simultaneously believe that what he’s doing is wrong and feel trapped in a never-ending cycle of addiction. Even when caught using porn, he can be torn between justifying it or minimizing its significance, and feeling powerless over it. He can question what kind of person he is that he is able to view and get excited by the scenes and images he sees. He can feel hypocritical and demoralized.

Conclusion

Finally, Couples interested in long-term stability and closeness would do well to talk regularly and constructively about their relationship, discussing sexual as well as non-sexual relationship issues in detail. Because people tend to shy away from talking about sexual beliefs, activities, and fantasies, it’s especially important to consider the role of pornography alongside other relationship factors. Individuals who consume pornography frequently, especially those who feel lonely and run into difficulty when they do want to grow closer to others, should strongly consider the impact that porn may be having not only on their relationships, but also on their own capacity for bonding and normal sexual function. The good news is that people can recover from porn usage and porn addiction and relearn healthy sexual and relational behaviors. Once a person becomes aware of the effect porn has on his life, he can face it and overcome it.

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