I’m a lover girl, and I’ve just met a man who’s got me feeling all sorts of things. He’s charming, funny, and, most importantly, kind. He’s almost twice my age and married, which complicates things, but his attentiveness has swept me off my feet. It all started innocently—a comment on a post here, a compliment in my DMs there. His words weren’t empty; they were meaningful, even comforting.

At first, I jokingly called him “Daddy,” but he gently protested, suggesting I use endearing names instead. Now, my life is filled with his calls, chats, cash gifts, and even requests for dates. I’ll admit I’m drawn to him effortlessly, but I also can’t shake this worry: What if this isn’t what I think it is?

My hesitation isn’t just baseless fear. My experiences with dating—especially online—have taught me hard lessons. I’ve had my fair share of disappointments, and the internet is full of harrowing stories about women falling into traps, all because they trusted too soon. It’s this awareness that makes me want to tread carefully. Let me share some of the red flags and safety tips I’ve learned along the way—things every woman should know when navigating the complex world of dating, both online and offline.

Red Flags to Watch Out For

Fraudulent Behavior

Don’t fall for the smooth talkers who turn out to be fraudsters. Some people use emotional connections to manipulate and exploit for financial gain. A red flag? They start asking for money or spinning stories that tug at your heartstrings but don’t quite add up. Be cautious, vigilant, and always observe patterns of behavior.

Deceptive Profiles

Catfishing is more common than we’d like to admit. Many people use fake profiles, misleading pictures, or false information to fool others. If someone hesitates to engage in a video call or provide evidence of their identity, it’s a glaring warning sign. Genuine people are transparent; deceptive ones live irresponsibly and often hide behind a façade.

Unsafe Meeting Arrangements

If you decide to meet someone, always choose public, well-lit locations. Never agree to meet in hidden or undisclosed places. This isn’t just about convenience—it’s about safety. There have been too many tragic stories of women being assaulted, kidnapped, or worse because they trusted the wrong person.

Privacy Risks

Safeguard your personal information. Sharing too much too soon can expose you to privacy breaches, especially if the platform’s security measures are weak. Be mindful of who you trust with sensitive details about your life.

Obsessive Behavior

Being asked out doesn’t give anyone the right to monitor or control your life. Watch out for people who react possessively or obsessively, like tagging you in inappropriate posts or keeping tabs on your interactions with others. These behaviors are red flags and shouldn’t be ignored.

Emotional Manipulation

Some individuals are masters of psychological manipulation, using tactics to control others and create unhealthy, toxic relationships. Don’t let anyone manipulate your emotions for their gain. If you spot this behavior, run!

Misaligned Intentions

Clarify what you want in a relationship from the start. Are you looking for something serious, or are you open to casual dating? Misaligned expectations can lead to hurt feelings and wasted time. Married men, for instance, often have no intention of marrying again—they’re just looking for a fling. Don’t let anyone mislead you.

Practical Safety Tips

If there’s one takeaway here, it’s this: be cautious but not paranoid. Here are a few steps to keep yourself safe:

• Verify their identity. Don’t hesitate to ask for proof if something feels off.
• Meet in public places. Your safety is a priority.
• Take your time. Don’t rush into sharing personal details or meeting in person.
• Trust your instincts. If something feels wrong, it probably is.

I’m still trying to figure out where this situation with my “Daddy” is headed. The attention, the gifts, the kind words—it’s all so tempting. But I’ve learned that not everything that glitters is gold. Whether he’s the real deal or just another distraction, I’ll take my time, protect my heart, and, most importantly, protect myself.

Ladies, remember: love is beautiful, but it should never come at the cost of your safety or peace of mind. Stay vigilant, know your worth, and never settle for less than you deserve.